


Faith

by Dawnshadow



Series: Two Scions Walk Into a Bar.... [9]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Comfort, Dealing With Guilt, Everyone needs hugs right now, Gen, Platonic Cuddling, Spoilers: Soul Surrender, a little indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 13:34:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20676230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dawnshadow/pseuds/Dawnshadow
Summary: In the wake of the Warriors of Darkness, Urianger prepares to return to the Waking Sands, alone. Thancred vehemently disagrees with this plan, knowing all too well what he must be going through right now, and drags him back inside to comfort him instead... and maybe seek out a little comfort himself.





	Faith

**Author's Note:**

> I had planned a couple more interludes between the last one and this one, but my shoulder was less better than anticipated. I couldn’t type comfortably, but I can play FF14… with a controller, laying flat on my back in bed with my laptop in my lap. I have a lot of MSQ to catch up with writing before I start Shadowbringers and I’m into the Stormblood patch content, so I’m going to come back and fill those in later.

“No. You aren’t isolating yourself again.”

Urianger looked at Thancred and tilted his head. “No? While thy faith in me—” however undeserved may it be—“is greatly appreciated, I must return to my duty, to my work—doubtlessly in mine absence much has been left unattended to, and I have been negligent in rectifying this. The sooner I return—” He started to walk around Thancred, only for the other man to grab his arm, holding him fast.

“I said no. You’re staying here, at least for a night. You shouldn’t be alone-- to be honest, _neither_ of us ought to be alone with his thoughts tonight.” He wasn’t quite meeting Urianger’s goggles. “I can’t take care of _her,_ so I may as well take care of you. Do you realize what, exactly, you just did?”

“I am full aware of the implications of mine actions.” Yes. Fate as well as Hydaelyn Herself had smiled upon him, but he knew well that the odds had been _far_ from in his favor—that he had, effectively, managed to invoke a miracle. And the cost… the lives given up for it. They hadn’t been his to offer. Yet he had. He'd seen no other path.

“I don’t think you are.” Thancred pulled on his sleeve, guiding him toward the quarters. “You’ve functionally been on a year-long undercover mission, matching wits with not just _an_ Ascian, but their _Emissary, _with no training, plan, support, or backup… and believing in your heart that your espionage was _actually_ betrayal, on top of that. And came out on top.”

“But—” He’d hurt their trust-- Alisaie’s trust most of all. And so often—so very often—he’d been in his heart far too tempted by _him, _by everything he’d offered so very willingly. Lost truths, secret knowledge. The peace found in the darkest of nights. Strength, the likes of which he’d never known himself to have. _Eternity_.

“I’ve been there, Urianger. Really, I’ll need to tell you about being stationed in Garlemald sometime… and how hard it was to adjust when I came home. It’s going to be some time before you feel like yourself again, and not what you were pretending to be.” His hand tightened, gripping the fabric of Urianger’s robe like he might escape. “Stay with me. Let me help you through this.” 

“Doth thou leave me a choice in the manner?”

“I suppose not.”

“So be it, then. I am surprised that it is thee, of all the Scions, who….”

“Suggested you keep investigating Ascians? Well, you do seem to have a talent for it, saving a world and all in the process.” Urianger thought he could hear bitterness underlying the jovial façade, but perhaps it was just imagined_._ “But not yet. You need to recover, and then… well, then you tell me everything that happened. _Everything, _in great detail. And then I'll tell you what you did wrong and right. If you’re going to be doing this regularly, you need at least some training in intelligence work, and I'm the best-qualified to do so. And so I have to know where you’re starting from.” He opened the door to his own quarters and pulled Urianger in, finally releasing him once he was inside and no longer able to flee. "Even if what you just did would probably qualify you as an Archon, if we were still in Sharlayan and you weren't one already."

“It was mostly Fate's favor, not any particular skill of mine, that caused such an outcome.” Thancred gave him an incredulous look, but didn’t protest. “And I would not want to burden thee with such.” The quarters were sparer than Urianger had expected. A large bed took up most of the room, and a corner had been claimed by what looked to be an artificial tree of sorts—he saw a nutkin hop from a branch to the trunk, then climb into a hole. A lute leaned against a desk cluttered with papers and notes tracking crystal shipments and rumors of primal activity. He moved toward one of the walls.

"Burden me by asking me to do my job? Perish the thought!" Thancred pulled a small paper bag out of his pocket and dumped the contents—a handful of nuts and grains—onto a small platform attached to the tree, then started to divest himself of his weapons. It was, in truth, extraordinary how many hidden knives he was laying on the desk….

Urianger watched him. “…what wouldst thou ask of me?” he asked. “I am here at thy request, and so will do as thou wouldst have me do.”

“First… this, first. Let me do this for you.” Thancred went to him and hugged him tightly, head pressed against his chest. “This. You’re home. It’s over. You don’t have to be alone, don’t have to keep your guard up. You’re safe now. You didn’t betray us… and we forgive you for what you had to do.”

“I—” A part of him wanted to pull away. To refuse. But… he’d longed for this—to be close to someone, to be comforted— for such a long time. And he was home. He was—he wasn’t alone. “—Thancred— thou needst not—”

“I don’t care if you _think_ you deserve this. Let me take care of you. Please.” He clearly wasn’t intending on letting go anytime soon.

Urianger nodded and returned the hug—just as tightly. This wouldn’t make up for what he’d done to Thancred—to all of them. Nothing could. “…as is thy will,” he breathed, trying to keep his voice steady. “I will be thine to protect for a night.” 

“Good.” Thancred gently pulled him toward the bed, guiding him to sit down, then sat next to him, drawing him back into his arms. “It’s over now.” And it was… Urianger felt as if something inside him had finally given way. Some part of him that hadn’t been convinced that this was real, that he was finally, finally—

“…I succeeded. I…”

“Yes.” Thancred squeezed, reassuringly. “You did it. You won the day, and you were _magnificent_. Minfilia will save this other star of yours, and then come home to us; you didn’t force her into anything, just made it possible for her to make that choice, to save those who could still be saved. It wasn’t in vain—none of it, none of the pain, none of the loneliness.” He knew. He knew… “We know what happened, why you deceived us, and that you’re still _ours_.”

“Thy words are kind.” Urianger shook his head. “It is as if thou knowest my every thought….”

“I told you. I’ve been there.” He stroked along the top of Urianger’s hood; Urianger leaned into the touch. “I know doubt well, the way it circles like a pack of wolves, nipping here and there. Your words are so evocative—your story, even filtered as it _certainly_ was, made it clear that you were long mired in doubt, unsure if your path really would come back to the light, or if it would leave you lost and trapped in the dark. It’s a difficult thing to break from.”

“Thou wert correct in keeping me, in bringing me here… far kinder to focus on thine thoughts than mine.” He found himself slowly relaxing, leaning more on Thancred. And he suspected that ‘twas better to keep Thancred focused on him than to let the wolves in _his_ mind gnaw on his concern for Minfilia. “Given how I spend so much time alone, it surprises me how afflicted I was by mine long isolation. How much, by the end, I… craved such.”

“Like this?”

Urianger nodded.

“I thought so, from the way you reacted when I touched you earlier—usually you tense and draw away unless you’re anticipating it. Here. Lie back—” And he guided Urianger to lie down and then lay next to him, pulling Urianger close, hands rubbing calming circles against his shoulders. “If anything I do is objectionable, you need only speak and I’ll stop immediately.”

“I understand.” He leaned in, hiding his face against Thancred’s chest (mindful of the goggles) and focused on the warmth of him, how solid he was. This was real. “Thine hands are skilled. That thou wouldst show such kindness…”

“It’s not just kindness. This… it helps me, too, having someone to hold. To watch over.” His hands kept circling gently, then pressed a little more firmly, massaging, seeking out months of tension. “Rest, now. I won’t let anyone hurt you. I promise.”

Yes. He spoke truth. It was safe here—safe, and warm, and bright. And, at long last, Urianger was able—if only for a night—to truly relax.

Morning found the two of them curled together, sleeping peacefully. Tataru smiled and closed the door silently.

Urianger wasn’t sure if this was the proper shrine for this. He wasn’t sure that there was a proper shrine for this on this star. But it was close enough to the Rising Stones to be convenient, and if any of the Twelve could reach another world, another star…

He lit the five candles and bowed his head. “I beg Thee, if Thou wouldst… once more grant me Thine indulgence. Let them find their way home. Let them find peace. Let them be remembered as they once were, as heroes.”

He wasn’t sure if She heard him, without offerings of crystal, but he hoped She did.

“Let them be remembered, and their sacrifice not be in vain. Please. Save their star.” He stayed there-- kneeling, praying, remembering-- until the candles had long burned down.

At long last, he rose-- wincing at joints gone stiff in his long stillness-- and turned to go home, only to find that he wasn’t alone. “I fail to see what thou findest so captivating. Why hast thou returned to me once more? And for how long hast thou lingered, silent, overseeing my prayers?”

“Long enough to know that this has been… more trying for you than anticipated.” The Emissary approached him, stopping within arm’s reach. “Your actions were unexpected. I didn’t expect you would be able to call upon Hydaelyn, much less in such spectacular fashion.”

“I would expect to find thee disappointed that I had found a way to escape invoking the Ardor in the name of saving the star.” He studied Elidibus carefully, trying to read him. The masks had been wonderful foresight….

“I must admit that while I long for my God to be made whole once again, this outcome is far more _interesting._ The Rejoining is inevitable. Hydaelyn investing so much of Her power and Her chosen into stopping a flood of Light… far less so. What’s more, your actions and Hers have served to stabilize this star—while it’s still at risk, thanks to your Champion’s power, it no longer stands quite so close to the precipice of its own Flood.”

“And the First? Hath it found stability in this sacrifice?”

“It’s too soon to tell if your Minfilia will succeed or not. But be assured, I will be watching.”

Urianger nodded and turned to leave. To go _home_.

“Wait. There is one other thing I would speak to you of. Your fate—your ultimate fate.”

Urianger turned back, tilting his head curiously.

“Your actions have been nothing but impressive. And so, once more I offer this boon. Help undo the harm to the balance your Champion has wrought.” He stepped closer again, extending a hand. “Stay by my side, and know neither death nor cessation.”

Urianger turned away. “We have spoken of this before, Emissary, and mine answer is unchanged. Even more so now that I have learned more of the veiled truths within thy offer. Ascians are bound by His will, and His puppet I shall not become.”

“So little do you understand, Archon. Just know this: I am no puppet. Everything I do for Him, I _choose_ to do.” His tone all but radiated conviction. “We are of one mind.”

“Is willing servitude any less servitude?” Urianger asked. “How can thou have such certainty that thine will hath not been affected by His words, His presence?”

“Is it any different? Are you any less a servant to your Order, to your faith, to your mortal companions? Do you truly have free will, bound as you are by your oaths and mortal entanglements? Bound by your fate?”

“It is possible for mortal hands to shape fate.”

“Yes. Like a river—difficult, but possible.” He smiled. “The offer remains open, should you reconsider. Which I pray that you one day will.”

Urianger shook his head. “I fear thine prayers on the matter shall ever be in vain, Emissary.”

He nodded and turned to leave. “Then I shall leave you in peace until once again our goals fall into alignment. You have been most useful to me, and I would gladly seek you out once more when they do.” He smiled. “Be careful in the coming moons. The front lines of a revolution are no place for a scholar.” And then he was gone, his aether quickly indistinguishable from the fogs of Mor Dhona.


End file.
